Thursday, September 2, 2010

IF I HAVE TWO APPLES, DOES THE CLOSET DOOR SPEAK ROCK …


I can’t tell you the number of conversations I have overheard (or surreptitiously eavesdropped upon) where one of the people, obviously not paying close enough attention to the context, will drop an absolutely unrelated and irrelevant comment into the middle of everything.

In a conversation among five women, what started out as excitement about a sale at Payless Shoes, migrated into a wishful discussion about high-end shoes. At one point, one of the women said, “I’m overdue for some Louboutins, if you know what I mean.” To which another women responded, “I know. I’ve been telling my husband for over a month that we need a lube and oil change.” Followed by silence and stares.

I know that Louboutin is typically pronounced lube-it-on, but there should never be confusion between a thousand dollar pair of French shoes and a twenty dollar oil change, no matter how little you were paying attention. As my wife would say, “You need to sprinkle a little relevancy dust on that one, honey.”

And to give fair exposure to the hairier sex, I was at my mechanic’s waiting for my Escort to get struts replaced, when their conversation turned to the neighborhood’s favorite fish fry. One of the guy’s said, “I am so looking forward to perch tomorrow night.” One of the other guys responded, “Really? You go to church Friday nights? That’s just weird.” Followed by silence and stares, then an eruption of laughter.

So here’s a bit of advice to those who stop paying attention to conversations. Before you open your mouth to comment, be sure to begin paying attention for a bit before you speak. It may save you the embarrassment of hearing, “You need to sprinkle a little relevancy dust on that one, honey.”

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