The Eclectic Chalkboard

IT’S FROM THE GOVERNMENT … IT’S HERE TO HELP YOU …

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“You MUST respond to this for your own good.” That’s what was on the subject line of the ominous sounding email. And it was from the FBI Director. No, not J. Edgar. The current Director, Robert F. Mueller, III. Oh yeah, and it was in my spam folder.

Now the really sad part of this email, is that there are people who, unfortunately, respond to it. “After all,” they say, “you can’t ignore the FBI, can you?.”

So consider this a friendly public service announcement.

IT’S NOT FROM THE FBI, PEOPLE.

And here’s a few tips on how to tell if it’s real.

Number One. If your email provider has already thrown it in your spam folder, it’s not real. IT’S SPAM, get it? (I mean, not the real Spam®, of which I am a huge fan. Because if it was the real Spam® I would be all up and in its face. No wait, reverse that. It would be all up and in my face.) To repeat, if it’s already in your spam folder, leave it alone. It’s not real.

Number Two. It’s from the FBI Director, Robert F. Mueller, III. Close, but no cigar. The real name of the real FBI Director is Robert S. Mueller, III. I know. “F” can sound like “S” but in an email, believe me, the FBI Director is not going to misspell his own name.

Number Three. It’s from the FBI Director. Even if it says it’s from Robert S. Mueller, it’s not really from him. Seriously, the Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation is not going to send you a personal email, unless you know him personally. And then, he’s probably going to indicate it’s from Bob, or Robby, or Swan (which is what the middle initial “S” stands), or Mr. Froo Froo, or whatever personal name you know him as.

Number Four. “You MUST respond to this for your own good.” Wow. I’m so glad that was in the subject line. I wasn’t going to fall for that FBI Director thing, but when the subject line said I “MUST” respond, and it was in all caps, well, if it was a bad email they wouldn’t say that, would they? OF COURSE THEY WOULD! What do you expect the bad people to say, “Virus Enclosed,” or “Phishing attempt,” or “From bad people hoping to do you or your computer harm”?

To recount – if it’s from the FBI, it’s not from the FBI.

P.S. You MUST comment on this posting for your own good.