Wednesday, August 25, 2010


“This may be the breakthrough theory you’ve been looking for to explain why life doesn’t always flow the way we want it,” he said. He had just walked authoritatively to the front of the room of around 300 people, turned to face us, took off his wire-rimmed glasses, paused for what I assume was some sort of visual effect, put them back on, and made his opening statement.

“That is why you’re here, isn’t it?” he continued. “To find out why life doesn’t always flow the way we want it, and what to do about it.”

In fact, that is why we were there. That was, after all, the name of workshop.

“A friend of mine recently shared something with me,” he said. “It deals with scientific theory regarding human reaction in anticipation of unexpected movement. He called it the ‘Horizontal Infinity Plumb String, or HIPS, Principle’.”

Without boring you over some of the so-called technical/scientific explanations he bored us with, essentially the HIPS Principle says that infinite life flows along a horizontal line, and often, without warning and out of the darkness, comes a “something” (the plumb at the end of a string) that can knock us off the path.

Personally, I find the HIPS Principle to be more allegorical than technical or scientific, but then, I’m a writer not a scientist.

So here we are, walking merrily along the path of life, when our “spidey” sense alerts us to impending danger. Something coming at us, unexpectedly, out of the dark. I … I think it’s a plumb. Probably a big heavy one.

Uh-oh! Now what??

Here’s the quiz part: Do you …

a) Continue merrily walking along life’s path, ignoring your “spidey” sense? Or …

b) Okay, your “spidey” sense has just alerted you to impending danger … so what do you think you should do?

Right, you get out of the way. Common sense. No need to spend $395 for a four hour workshop to be told to do what should come naturally. (I was so thankful I had a complimentary ticket.)

Assuming you passed the quiz, let’s continue with Mr. Workshop Guy.

For the next three hours, he belabors his advice on what to do when life doesn’t flow the way we want it. It boils down to three points.

First, be aware of what’s happening around you.

Second, when you sense or feel you’re about to be hit, duck.

Third, move forward.

So now you know and you can save yourself $400.

Be aware, duck and move forward.

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