DON’T GIVE ME THAT FINGER …
His finger hovered midway between his ear and his nose, about an inch above his cheekbone. He moved it first toward his ear, then his nose, then back and forth a few more times. It was an odd looking movement and I was hoping that whatever he was going to do with it, he would do before the light at our intersection turned green.
Until I saw it go … there. You know where.
His finger went up his nose with a passion seldom seen in adult nose-pickers. He was definitely on a mission. He began to rout around as if he were trying to move every nook and cranny, through the forest of hair sprouting for anyone to see, to capture the little green man that did not want to surrender easily. But the little green man was no match for the finger with such dedication. Within seconds, his quarry was found and pulled out from his hiding place.
Fortunately for me, I wasn’t able to actually see his prize, but the young man looked obviously pleased with his successful hunt. He stared at it as if his nasal adversary were worthy of a warrior’s respect.
But that’s not the really gross part.
Be forewarned, again.
In 3 – 2 – 1 …
Without warning, and without dislodging the little green man from his dedicated digit, he quickly stuck his finger in his … ear, and began digging around in that waxy cave.
My mind reeled as my face grimaced in grossed-out disgust.
After a few seconds, he withdrew his finger from his ear. He looked at whatever treasure he had pulled out from there, and I assume layered on top of his first capture. And here comes another little nugget, not quite as gross but disgusting nonetheless. He wiped his finger on the underside of his tie.
That’s right. This 20-something young man, driving a green, 2010 Camaro and dressed professionally, was not only picking his nose in public, then thrusting the same finger immediately into his ear, had just finished his declaration of war on public etiquette with a swift swipe under his silk tie – also green, by the way.
I can only imagine what he does in the privacy of a dark closet.
Actually, I think I won’t.