THE GRASS IS ALWAYS BROWNER ON THE OTHER SIDE …
Two possible scenarios for the start of a really bad habit.
The first. Nerdmeier really likes dogs. Unfortunately, he can’t have one. Why? It doesn’t matter, he just can’t. But he really likes them. Nerdmeier’s neighbor, Goofmeier, also really likes dogs. In fact, he has two of them. A German Shepherd and a
Anyway, Nerdmeier is visiting Goofmeier one day and says, “Hey Goofmeier, I was wondering if you could do me a really big favor?”
Goofmeier says, “If I can, I will. You know that. We’ve been neighbors and friends for a long time, so if I can help you out, just let me know.”
“Well, you know I really like dogs,” Nerdmeier says. “But I only get to enjoy them when I’m visiting. And every day I see you with your dogs out in the backyard, teaching them to poop outside.”
“Okay-y-y,” Goofmeier says hesitantly, not really sure where Nerdmeier is going with his conversation.
Nerdmeier continues. “So I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind walking your dogs past my front yard and letting them poop there every once in a while.”
“Did you just say you want me to let my dogs poop in your front yard?” Goofmeier asks rather incredulously.
“Absolutely. From one dog lover to another, I would really appreciate your thoughtfulness. You don’t even have to bother picking it up. After all, who could mind stepping into some fresh dog poop every now and again. It’s really the neighborly thing to do.”
And so began the habit of dog owners teaching their dogs, not to poop in their own yards, but to poop in their neighbors’ yards. And if nobody’s looking, heck, just leave it there.
Of course, there is scenario number two. (No pun intended. Maybe).
Lawrence William, or simply LarryBilly as everyone called him, was a good ol’ boy from the South. He lived a simple life on a small lot in a small trailer park with only six trailers parked there. LarryBilly had two loves in his life. His son, LarryBilly Jr. (whom he actually named LarryBilly Jr.) and his lawn. His wife had long ago run off with one of his neighbors and left him with LarryBilly Jr. and a mongrel of a mutt who loved to do two things. Slarting, which is what LarryBilly called it when the dog would be sleeping and farting, and he liked pooping. Three, four times a day. “Man that dog likes to poop,” LarryBilly would say quite often.
LarryBilly, however, did not like his Muttly pooping on his beloved lawn. He didn’t like it because it wasn’t good for his lawn, and he especially didn’t like having to pick it up. He tried teaching LarryBilly Jr. to pick up, but LarryBilly Jr didn’t like picking it up either.
“Daddy?” LarryBilly Jr asked his dad one day. “Is it okay if I teach Muttly to poop somewhere besides our lawn?”
LarryBilly was elated at the possibility and gave his son the go-ahead.
So LarryBilly Jr. began taking Muttly for walks and would stop every other yard or so, and tell him, “Poop Muttly, Poop”.
Muttly was a very cooperative dog, who learned quickly that pooping in other people’s yards was not only fun, but resulted in praise and treats from LarryBilly Jr.
And there you have number two. In somebody else’s yard.
What I wonder is what happens in the dog owner’s mind, that jumps over the “consideration for others” section of the brain, and lands right in the “Oh, it’s perfectly all right to ruin a yard with dog poop, as long it’s not in my back yard.”
And the often heard excuse, “That’s just what dogs do,” is so untrue.
That’s what wild dogs do, perhaps because they don’t know any better. But owned dogs are trained where to poop. Whether it’s in their own yards, or the neighbors.
It’s not the dog’s fault. It’s the owner.