Friday, October 1, 2010

HOW MANY DRAGONS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB …


“Daddy,” the five-year-old said, “do you believe in dragons?”

“Sure,” his father said.

“Have you ever seen one?” his son excitedly asked.

“No.”

“Then why do you believe in them?”

His father thought for a few seconds then said, “Because sometimes you have to believe in something before you actually see it.”

Such is the stuff of faith. And there are libraries dedicated to the power and practice of faith.

American author, Napoleon Hill wrote one of the best-selling books of all time, Think and Grow Rich, predicated on one of his most famous quotes: “What the mind of man can believe, the mind of man can achieve.” And there are plenty of similar tomes patterned after his book.

French philosopher Voltaire, penned that “Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. It is not enough that a thing be possible for it to be believed.”

Or consider the words of the United Kingdom’s Poet Laureate of the mid-1800s, Alfred Lord Tennyson, “Faith is believing what we cannot prove.”

And then there is my personal favorite: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”, found in Hebrews 11:1 of the Bible.

Throughout the ages of man, faith has been a remarkable tool in his arsenal of advancement. And it shall be no different in our future.

Whether it’s believing in dragons or having enough belief to work through more than 10,000 attempts before discovering the American light bulb, faith plays its part.

Make it a part of your life.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

WE HOLD IN OUR HANDS THE POWER TO CRUSH LIFE OR TO CULTIVATE IT …


Choose wisely.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

HOW DIRTY DO YOU HAVE TO BE BEFORE YOU’RE NO LONGER CLEAN …


If you’re in the business of cleaning, shouldn’t your own stuff be clean?

It seems counter-productive to drive a vehicle around, painted bright yellow so you are clearly noticed, prominently featuring the word “clean” in your business name, caked with dust, dirt and grime.

It is, after all, a mobile representation of your commitment to the service you propose to do for others. If you show up at my home or business, in a dirty truck, wearing a stained shirt, holes in your pants and shoes that look like they haven’t been cleaned and polished since the day you bought them, I’m not going to trust you to do a good job cleaning my home or business.

At the end of your task, I really don’t want to hear, “Well, it’s cleaner than it was before. That should be good enough.”

Good enough?

If 75% is good enough, does that mean when you need to replace all four tires on your car, and they only put three tires on, that’s “good enough”?

Maybe 85% is good enough for you. So when you give me your bill for $100, does that mean I only need to pay you $85, since that’s your standard for “good enough”?

And if “cleaner than it was before,” is your measure of success, then just giving you a few dollars should be good enough, since it will be “more than you had before.”

That is, assuming that I let you in my home or business in the first place, given that you showed up looking rather dirty and disheveled.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE AND DELIVER ON YOUR PROMISE …



Forget about fingernails raking across a chalkboard. This was rusty tines of an old metal rake gouging themselves deep into the slate of the soul. It was enough to send the undead, screaming in terror, back to hell where the wailing and gnashing of teeth would be a comfort to their decaying ears.

And then, in a $5 instant, the discordance rang with near perfect pitch and clarity. A song wonderfully recognizable and truly worth taking the time to stop and enjoy. Exactly one hundred and fifty seconds after it started, it abruptly stopped. For thirty seconds, there was silence.

Suddenly, the ear-splitting rail tore through the air, looking for another soul upon which to deeply rake itself. This time, it took only seven seconds for another thirty-second respite.

He carried on like that throughout the day. Alternating between the peal of perdition’s Dogs of Dissonance, the sweet sound of silence, and the hail of Heaven’s Dulcet Doves. Although seldom in that order.

Here was a homeless man who thoroughly understood the genius of marketing and the value of keeping one’s word. He started singing badly. Very badly. Very, very badly and very loudly. But for a buck, he would stop for a half-minute. If someone dropped in another buck during the silence, he would extend the quiet time another half-minute.

But the genius behind his cardboard promise, was his ability to sing beautifully, with strength and feeling. For exactly 2-½ minutes, whereupon he would immediately stop, even in mid-note. Unless someone had dropped another $5 in his sidewalk hat, whereupon he would continue through an additional 2-½ minutes.

It was, as it turned out, a very lucrative way to earn a living. He said he averaged $300 to $400 a day on non-holidays. From Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve, he averaged between $500 and $700 a day. All cash.

He wasn’t actually homeless. Although by dress and demeanor, he allowed passers-by to make that assumption.

Why did he do it? Simple. He enjoyed his independence, the daily interaction with people, and his minimalist lifestyle.

And I couldn’t really argue with him about that.

Monday, September 27, 2010

THE SIGN SAID, “NO SOLICITORS”


Your Monday Morning Chuckle, with a side of caution.

Friday, September 24, 2010

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY


It was not the sound I expected to be coming from the sight of an elderly man, slightly bent over and walking with a cane. Whistling. In fact, it apparently caught others by surprise as well, given their reactions as he walked past them.

Whistling seems to be a fading public expression of happiness or contentment. I don’t remember the last time I heard anyone whistle.

And yet, here was this seventy-something seasoned citizen, brightening moments in the days of so many around him.

I found myself remembering songs I used to hear that featured whistling.

“Whistle while you work,” from the Disney movie, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

“Sweet Georgia Brown,” the warm up song used by the Harlem Globetrotters.

Bing Crosby in his seasonal hit, “White Christmas.”

The theme song to the 1950s TV show, “The Andy Griffith Show.”

But perhaps my favorite is Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” You can check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9K4BKkLaCI

As you go through this Friday, maybe you can try a little whistling. I found it surprising refreshing and happy-invoking.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

WHO WILL BE MASTER? THE WORD, OR THE WORDSTER …


I don’t know which I dislike more. Turgidity or wordification. But I think I’m leaning toward disliking turgidity more.

Permit me to share an example of each to which I was subjected recently.

In a lecture hall of a college campus, we were told by the visiting professor, “It is endemic among noeticists to discontinuously reach ebullition when the prolixity of their paradigmatic disceptations are more casuistry than verity.”

What the WHAT? I knew the professor was speaking English, and yes, it is expected that students in post-graduate classes have a higher than fifth grade grasp on communication, but … what the heck did he say?

Roughly translated, it means that sometimes smart people argue “violently” when their long-winded discussion becomes more fiction than fact. So why couldn’t he have simply said that?

Turgidity.

That is, language which has become pompously embellished. Now, I know that the word turgidity is not exactly common either, but I really like it because it sounds like it could be related to turds. Which, it could be loosely argued, it is. After all, many of the comments by those who were listening to the visiting professor, included the word, “s#!t.” As in, “What kind of s#!t is this guy saying?”

The second example is what I call, wordification. The making up of words which, within context, can actually make sense to those listening. Incidentally, wordification is a word I made up.

At a community discussion regarding the deteriorating state of public education, one of the speakers, a middle-school teacher, with heart-felt passion, said the following: “With all seriosity, I emplore are leaders to stop dumb-downing education goals and lifting are sights to set higher goals. We need, with all seriosity, to begin the progress of undumbifying are children if they are ever going to dream about getting ahead. They have a dream and we must stop turning them into nightmares by ignoring them in the abakiss of despair.”

Granted, her passion was obviously genuine, and she received applause at the end of her comments (which continued on in a similar vein), but might we be able to be taken more seriously without the made up words? Or worse, the sad misuse of words? (I’m not sure, but given the context of her comments, I think she meant to say the “abyss of despair.”)

Somewhere in between turgidity and wordification lies simple communication. Truthful communication.

Somewhere in between saying what you mean and meaning what you say lies simple understanding.

We have to get away from the Humpty-Dumpty approach to communication. In Lewis Carroll’s “Through the Looking Glass,” Humpty-Dumpty says to Alice, “When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less.” To which Alice replies, “The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

To which I would reply, it is time to stop making the same words mean so many different things.

It’s time to stop hiding our ignorance behind the veils of our vanity. And it’s time to stop feigning our intelligence behind the whimsy of our wordification.

It’s time we let our yes, be simply yes. And our no, be simply no.

Otherwise, we’ll be left to suffer the words of a former spokesman for the State Department, Robert McCloskey, “I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.